Greetings
Greetings are the first impression one makes when meeting someone for the first time in the Netherlands. When meeting someone for the first time, a handshake is customary, sometimes with a verbal greeting such as ‘dag’ (which means ‘hello’ or ‘good day’). Men and women can also kiss one cheek if they know the other person. Small talk is expected in the Netherlands, and conversation topics may vary depending on the situation.
Handshakes
In the Netherlands, handshakes are usually firm but should not be overbearing. It is expected to look someone in the eye when shaking their hand and maintain contact until the handshake is finished. When greeting a family, it is typical to shake hands with each adult member of the family and any children present.
When first meeting someone new, a polite smile and handshake should suffice. Acknowledging the other person’s presence with a “Hello” or “Good day” before beginning a conversation is appropriate. Don’t forget to introduce yourself by name (including your surname), especially if you are introduced to someone by another party or in more formal gatherings such as business meetings.
It is also common for Dutch people to embrace when they greet a close friend or relative – this often progresses from an initial handshake into a hug which may last for some time. This type of greeting is usually only used between people who know each other very well and will not usually be made when meeting someone for the first time. For more casual relationships and friendships, a friendly kiss on the cheek (usually two) may also occur between two people.
Titles
The Netherlands has a culture of addressing people by their titles as part of formal etiquette. Therefore, when meeting someone for the first time, or if you are unsure of someone’s title, it is best to address them as ‘mevrouw’ (Mrs), ‘meneer’ (Mr), or ‘dokter’ (Doctor). It will ensure that no one feels left out or offended.
If you do know someone’s title, their name should be introduced with a title. For example, Mr./mevr./dr., followed by their last name. In most professional contexts, men are usually addressed as ‘meneer’ and women as ‘mevrouw.’ Academic titles such as professors typically come before the individual’s first name.
Titles should also be used in emails and letters to show respect to the reader. In Dutch emails, it is common to start with Gegroet (‘Greetings’) and follow it with a professional greeting with a title and name. It can also be useful in other professional contexts like invitations and thank-yous to refer to the person by their titles, such as Professor Duyn or Dokter Van Dyck. It will not only show respect but also help ensure accuracy while being less formal than using full names such as Professors Hugo Frits Duyn or Doctor Janneke van Dyck-Konijnenburg would entail since these forms are rarely seen outside of official documents.
Communication
It’s essential to understand a bit about the communication etiquette of the Dutch to make sure you make a positive impression. Communication in the Netherlands is direct and to the point, with the Dutch favoring short sentences and clarity rather than drawn-out conversations. Therefore, it is important to avoid speaking too loudly or using overly emotional language. Instead, respectful, thoughtful speech is appreciated, and directness is appreciated.
Respect for Privacy
The Dutch often keep a physical distance between themselves and strangers and remain distant until they feel the relationship has been established. It is important to respect their personal space, as they may be uncomfortable with extreme proximity. A handshake should be offered when first introduced, but this should not be accompanied by over-familiarity, such as hugs or kisses on the cheek.
The Dutch also respect privacy regarding conversations and information shared within social relationships. Gossiping about someone is generally unacceptable, and discussing other people’s private lives without their permission is considered rude. In addition, it is polite to refrain from asking overly personal questions until you have established a more meaningful relationship with an individual or family. It is normal for people to take their time when forming new friendships, so patience on the part of foreigners can help facilitate positive interactions during intercultural encounters in the Netherlands.
Eye Contact
Eye contact is regarded as a sign of respect and sincerity in the Netherlands. Therefore, when conversing with a Dutch person, it’s important to maintain direct eye contact as it communicates enthusiasm and interest in what they are saying. It also indicates that you are listening attentively.
During a conversation or a meeting, not making eye contact or looking away for long stretches can be a source of discomfort for the other person. Also, arguing with someone and making direct eye contact may be considered impolite and aggressive behavior.
Ordinary Dutch people tend to engage in relatively short bouts of eye contact during conversations, so if you maintain longer periods of sustained eye contact, they may feel uncomfortable. To avoid this situation, pay attention to the other person’s cues when speaking to avoid appearing overbearing or invasive.
Conversational Topics
Conversation with Dutch people generally follows the laws of etiquette for any country. Therefore, it is polite to greet and depart from each interaction, introduce yourself and ask questions about the other person’s home, family, and interests. In addition, here are some more specific things that can be discussed with a Dutch person:
- The Netherlands’ cycling culture: A valuable part of local customs is that almost everyone cycles everywhere—it’s one of the country’s most popular modes of transport. You can tell your Dutch friends you enjoy cycling or, as an alternative, talk about why Dutch society has such a strong understanding and acceptance of bike riding (e.g., government incentives for biking).
- Dutch history: Discussing famous cultural landmarks in The Netherlands or stories about historical figures from this country will also make great topics of conversation when communicating with a Dutch person. For example, short summaries about famous painters like Rembrandt van Rijn or saying something relating to the Battle of Waterloo will be seen as exciting conversations.
- Politics: As an open and democratic country, politics is often openly discussed in The Netherlands! Naturally, it’s best to start a political conversation without immediately sharing your opinion but instead asking your Dutch friend’s opinion on a particular policy approach or topic, like immigration reform or taxation policies within The Netherlands.
- Life fulfillment and meaningful activities: During conversations, you should be mindful that many Dutch citizens take pride in their lifestyles, focusing on meaningful activities while leading relatively organized lives—something they consider part of their national identity! Thus talking about how life brings value through several means, whether it be travel plans, creative hobbies, enriching family gatherings, etc., although irrelevant to the context, might still make for great conversations illustrating broader values shared by much of society here in The Netherlands!
Dining
Dining in the Netherlands is a significant social experience and an opportunity to learn more about the country’s cultural customs and etiquette. The Dutch are very proud of their culinary heritage and take great care when preparing and serving their meals. Therefore, it is essential to understand the different expectations for each meal and the proper etiquette for dining out in the Netherlands.
Table Manners
Table manners are an essential part of Dutch culture, and there are certain expectations for behavior during meals. It is considered impolite to start eating before everyone at the table has been served. Place your napkin on your lap as soon as you sit down. When not using utensils, place them with the prongs facing up and the handle towards you on the right side of the plate. Wait to take a bite until everyone is served or instructed by your host to dig in.
When it comes to drinking, it’s polite to make a toast before consuming drinks (the Dutch will also make multiple toast at different times throughout the meal). When ordering beer, specify which type you would like, or you may end up with lager or wheat beer instead of what you wanted. If you want something alcoholic but do not want wine or beer, many restaurants offer jenever—a spirit made from juniper berries, similar to gin.
Eating dessert is usually saved for special occasions, but when it is served, it can be eaten at any time during the meal; however, cheese should only be eaten near the end of the meal as this would typically come after dessert in The Netherlands.
Gift-Giving
Gift-giving is a common custom in the Netherlands during special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, and holidays. If you have been invited to a Dutch home, bringing a small gift such as flowers, sweets, or pastries is polite. Make sure the flowers are presented in an odd number of stems (traditionally 3, 5, or 7), and if you opt for sweets or pastries, these should be packaged in beautiful wrapping paper.
Toys are acceptable when giving children gifts, but small things like books or stationery items can also be suitable. Gifting alcohol is usually reserved for close acquaintances as it indicates familiarity and trust. However, it can also be seen as an indirect insult if not received well by the recipient. Do not give overly expensive electronic items unless you know the person likes them and use them frequently.
In business settings, gifts are appreciated but never expected. Appropriate gifts include company logo-imprinted merchandise such as pens, mugs, and jotters; however, consider any potential cultural nuances regarding office politics when considering your gift choices.
Dress Code
When dining in the Netherlands, it is customary to dress nicely and respectfully. Wear clothing that is not too revealing – covering up your arms, legs, and torso when possible. A skirt or dress that falls to the knee or below is generally appropriate for women. Men should wear a collared shirt with trousers or jeans and closed-toe shoes. It’s also essential to ensure that your clothing is wrinkle-free and clean – make sure you are presentable when dining!
Keep in mind that a stricter dress code may exist at more formal restaurants. While traditionally formal attire was expected in finer restaurants, “smart casual” has recently become acceptable even at higher-end establishments. To be safe, wear clothes that introduce an air of respectability – think crisp button-down shirts for men, dresses or skirt-and-top combinations for women – and avoid loud colors or prints.
Social Etiquette
The Dutch people are known for their directness, including their communication style. Therefore, it is important to be aware of certain etiquette when interacting with them. Generally speaking, the Dutch are friendly and informal, but some social customs and etiquette should be followed when getting to know them.
This section will discuss the nuances of social etiquette in the Netherlands:
- Be direct and honest in your communication.
- Be punctual.
- Maintain eye contact when speaking.
- Address people by their first names.
- Be friendly and open.
- Be aware of personal space.
- Be aware of the Dutch sense of humor.
Introduction to Friends
Introducing yourself or a group of people to someone is an important part of social etiquette in the Netherlands, and a handshake often accompanies it. It’s customary to introduce the eldest or most senior person first. Dutch people may use their online nickname when introducing themselves to their peers instead of using their full names. When making introductions in more formal settings, such as a business meeting, introductions should be done according to rank or seniority within an organization.
When meeting someone for the first time, the tone should be quite formal, although Dutch people usually soften up once they get to know each other better. It is essential to maintain eye contact when speaking with someone; looking away could be interpreted as a sign of disinterest. The Dutch often conversate in small groups, and it can take a while before they notice newcomers; don’t take offense if you are not immediately included in the conversation. Usually, all members present will shake hands with any new person arriving at their table – even those who have already done so – as a gesture of politeness and acknowledgment of your presence.
Invitations
One of the most critical social etiquette customs in the Netherlands is invitations. Invitations should be sent at least one to two weeks before the event, and they should always be answered – acceptance or decline – as soon as possible. An RSVP is usually included with an invitation, and it’s important to inform the host whether or not you plan to attend.
In addition to this basic etiquette, there are several other key guidelines to remember when planning an invitation for a Dutch friend or acquaintance. Handwritten invitations remain popular, even for casual occasions – it’s seen as a mark of courtesy and respect. For more formal events, full address information should be included in your invitation, including phone numbers and email addresses if available. To show respect at business-related events or gatherings, consider attaching business cards with written invitations so everyone knows who is attending and can contact each other afterward.
Finally, hosts typically provide food offerings during gatherings, not just drinks; it is customary that attendees bring some small gift item as a sign of thanks afterward – no matter how casual the event may be.
Public Behavior
It is essential to maintain proper behavior in public in the Netherlands. It can be difficult for some visitors who are used to a more casual atmosphere. Respectful behavior is expected, especially when engaging in conversation with locals. Generally, people greet each other with a friendly handshake, although it may not be as firm as that of English-speaking countryside.
Punctuality is essential for all social engagements. If possible, always arrive on time or 5-10 minutes before the scheduled meetup time. Simple conversations should start by introducing yourself, followed by asking general questions about the person and their daily routine. Personal topics such as age, religion, or politics should be avoided unless you know the person better and feel comfortable enough discussing such matters. It is advised to show interest while talking with the locals, maintain an open posture and ask relevant questions often rather than letting silence dominate your conversations.
Physical contact between friends is more common than in other countries due to more open expressions of intimacy in the Netherlands; however, this should still be exercised with caution when dealing with strangers or at official meetings, as these may be taken as inappropriate advances or even cause offense in certain circumstances.
Appropriate public behavior also includes:
- Staying alert and aware of one’s surroundings.
- Avoiding excessive displays of anger.
- Remaining mindful of local customs and beliefs at all times.
Business Etiquette
The Dutch culture takes a very organized and professional approach to business etiquette. The Dutch are punctual and straightforward, expecting their partners to adhere to the same standards. They have carefully structured working processes, and they value the completion of tasks within the expected timeframe.
For this reason, when doing business in the Netherlands, it is essential to be aware of cultural customs and etiquette.
Punctuality
Punctuality is essential in the Netherlands, and Dutch people take it seriously. It means arriving on time and not being late, which can be considered disrespectful. On the other hand, Dutch people try to get most tasks done ahead of time rather than last minute, so being early can help you make a good impression.
When scheduling appointments and meetings, build in some extra time for traffic or parking, as these things are often unpredictable.
In business situations, wait to be invited before you sit down, and when entering a room for an event or meeting, make sure to greet everyone with a handshake. Most meetings start immediately once all those present have arrived. Presentations should focus on the facts rather than trying to persuade people with emotion-based appeals – this is seen as ineffective communication in the Netherlands. Politeness is key in any social interaction – remain courteous at all times and use formal language when introducing yourself or making introductions.
Lastly, be sure to communicate your schedule clearly if you need to arrive late or leave early; it’s appreciated when others inform them in advance of any tight timelines they may have during a meeting or event.
Business Attire
When conducting business in the Netherlands, it is important to dress appropriately so as not to offend your hosts or colleagues. Generally speaking, Dutch business attire is conservative and formal. Men should wear dark-colored suits, white shirts, and ties; women should wear a tailored suit or dress with minimal jewelry and makeup. Some organizations adopt a smart casual dress code but checking with your host before the meeting is best to ensure you are well-dressed for the occasion. Whenever possible, opt for understated elegance.
Be aware that certain clothing elements may be perceived differently than you expect elsewhere in Europe or other countries worldwide; for example, wearing open-toe sandals may be inappropriate for specific business situations in the Netherlands. Additionally, facial piercing and body modifications are not seen favorably in most professional contexts, and tattoos may mean that an individual will have more difficulty finding employment in certain positions or industries. It is also important to remember that some colors may convey different meanings based on their cultural context – red symbolizes aggression while white implies mourning – so be sure to dress accordingly when engaging in a professional setting. Finally, avoiding strong scents such as cologne or perfume can help ensure a pleasant working environment between all parties involved.
Gift Giving
Gift-giving is a beautiful way to show appreciation, respect, and admiration; however, it can complicate misunderstandings if not done properly. Consider the following points when giving a business-related gift in the Netherlands:
- Gifts should always be small in size and moderate in price. The cost or size of a gift has nothing to do with its thoughtfulness, so resist the temptation of an overly extravagant piece.
- The wrapping of the gift should be detailed and aesthetically pleasing.
- It is appropriate for the company to present the gift; however, if it is from an individual, it should not have attached advertisements from the donor’s business.
- Be aware that flowers may be given as gifts in formal situations such as business meetings or dinners but not between close friends due to their funeral connotation within Dutch culture.
- It is important to remember that giving gifts during holidays may be interpreted negatively due to close associations with bribery and corruption in some instances (especially within national holidays). When considering holiday gift-giving, research beforehand to make sure your appreciation isn’t taken as an inappropriate gesture.
- Avoid giving practical presents, such as mugs, because they are seen as impersonal; instead, opt for items like company merchandise or products associated with leisure activities (i.e., wine).